Suburban Senshi: 'What do you mean that's part of her head?'

Suburban Senshi Entry #2237 - “[SPAM MiST] Haruka's desperation! Searching Emails for the secret to Better Loving!!”

#2237 “[SPAM MiST] Haruka's desperation! Searching Emails for the secret to Better Loving!!”

Excerpt Start - 07:33 AM 11/08/21

#suburbansenshisquad

.'~SugaBB_2999~'.

i regrat playang da t suad game

FireFly_9

... That wasn't a Squid game, it was a sex toy.

.'~SugaBB_2999~'.

a defactav 1

SpeedRcr_X

Man

SpeedRcr_X

Man ever since Michiru almost left me for the overly-muclebound Madoka fusions I've lost all confidence in my macho sensibilities

SpeedRcr_X

But modern technology has failed to help me find a solution to this problem

FireFly_9

Technology?

SpeedRcr_X

Yeah back in the day you'd get tons of emails everyday on methods to improve your performace, but now there's none

FireFly_9

Haruka-poppa that was spam E-mail which is filtered out now by default.

SpeedRcr_X

OH so that's what that folder's for! Awesome that they decided to put it all in a dedicated place so you can easily find it!

FireFly_9

...

SpeedRcr_X

Let's see here...

SpeedRcr_X

Hello,

A novel stance of Boxing Administrator for our parcel biz has just been started. Our association offers a very large check and instructional bundle to do you as a teammate of our partnership's expanding and heavily effectual crew.

.'~SugaBB_2999~'.

wayit da chack an instractanal bandle doez u?

FireFly_9

Don't get any ideas, Chibiusa-chan.

SpeedRcr_X

Maybe this is special erotic training

FireFly_9

I don't... where are you getting this?

SpeedRcr_X

You'll understand when you're older

FireFly_9

I WAS BORN IN 1981

SpeedRcr_X

Well when you get less sheltered

SpeedRcr_X

We learned thy information by virtue of the CareerBuilder web site and count up that your knowledge might be valuable for us. Supposing thou are touched by our fellowship's work, would you please compose an e-mail to our management so our comradeship's manpower wardens would be able to specify to you superior location's description.

FireFly_9

"thy"... and "thou"... and "fellowship"? did this just become a Tolkien spam?

GERMATOID

NGL "MANPOWER WARDEN" SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT JOB TITLE! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

.'~SugaBB_2999~'.

i went sum menpowar

SpeedRcr_X

I want this superior location's description so I can begin my erotic retraining and rebuild my confidence to seduce my wife.

FireFly_9

Haruka-poppa, you're starting to sound like the spam mail.

SpeedRcr_X

Remuneration: ,000 a month.

The given offer is only for operators that show their interest to act from within their doors. If ya'll may afford to corporally be present at thy house starting from nine AM ending with 5 PM, you would pull up dollars.

Reverend_H

YO PULL UP DOLLAS YO

RedCrow

God even working from home it's a pain in the ass being corporeally present from 9-5

C'est_La_V

Is this why you never answer me on slack??

RedCrow

I never answer you because you ask stupid things

RedCrow

Like how the hell do I know if your cat s[BLEEP]t on your bow

SpeedRcr_X

. You all will be a sterling participant at the job if you are a fresh mamma, a pupil of online option of schooling, pensioner, unable to work normally outdoors man or woman, or the human being which doesn’t like to make departure building for function.

SpeedRcr_X

I am the human being which doesn’t like to make departure building for function. For sure.

setsy_meioh

You literally only go outside to turn on the perfection field and make people swoon over you.

SpeedRcr_X

Don't be jelly because you never had that capacity

SpeedRcr_X

Ya'll shall not be constrained to work with ponderous clots. Principally, you shall see gowns or puppets inside. Educative material is produced for no cost.

Texas Samurai

"Y'all shall not be contrained...?"

setsy_meioh

Well you're disqualified, Haruka. Since they don't want "ponderous clots".

SpeedRcr_X

...Gowns and puppets frighten me so I might want to disqualify myself

FireFly_9

Wait, you fear puppets?

SpeedRcr_X

The Muppet show is a f[BLEEP]king eldritch abomination. and don't get me started on Sesame Street whre Big Bird worshipped an invisible Elephant for YEARS

FireFly_9

I'm pretty sure Snuffleupagus was a Woolly Mammoth

SpeedRcr_X

SEE THAT'S EVEN WORSE HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN EXTINCT

SpeedRcr_X

All you all shall need to possess work from our camaraderie is a on-table computer, entrance to the online net, and printer to be able to print bills of lading. How much ye will get relies only on ye – the more ya'll work, the more money you all receive. On average, laborers which simply launch functioning for our fellowship obtain about 1000 cash per 7 days.

Texas Samurai

How'd this email go from Th' Hobbit t' 'Dolly Parton advertises'?

// J_Daito //

I have an on-table computer but my entrance to the online net is slow at 14.4kbps

GERMATOID

I HATE PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT SITES LIKE MINE BECAUSE YOUR TEXT BROWSER DOESN'T RUN JAVASCRIPT

// J_Daito //

Look I am the ustomer and you are meant to accomodate me. I should never have to adapt to your new-fangled needs.

GERMATOID

OK BOOMER

// J_Daito //

Look just because I'm 10,000 years old

SpeedRcr_X

Are you induced by our job? Don't hesitate to send a letter to our management through e-mail. Add your Full name and your house location. But keep in mind about being at your dwelling from nine o'clock to 17.00 is your obligation to be able to take the appointment (or, the job isn’t for thou, unluckily)

FireFly_9

PICK A F[BLEEP]KING GENRE! HOBBITS OR HICKS!

Texas Samurai

...hicks?

FireFly_9

Erm

SpeedRcr_X

FireFly_9

Wait the last line literally is "f"

Texas Samurai

Hicks ☠

// J_Daito //