Suburban Senshi: My urine burns itself perfectly.
#341: “Ask the Suburban Senshi #6”

*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= Because we Can =-'
[08:37] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> Because of the recent lack of updates and because I won't be around much the next day or so, it's time for another SUUPA HAPPI Edition of "Ask the Suburban Senshi", where YOU, the READERS, get your quest
[08:39] <// J_Daito //> Where you, the readers, get yours. Let's just leave it at that, shall we?
[08:40] *** [ Dr_Xadium ] has kicked // J_Daito // from #suburbansenshi (REASON: Irritant )

[08:40] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> Lik i wana hot it dis wek!
[08:40] *** // J_Daito // [Jed@dialup666.darkkingdom.co.jp] has joined #suburbansenshi

[08:40] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> Sorry, but I think that violates some clause of the Geneva Convention or something... Professor Tomoe, it's your turn!
[08:41] <GERMATOID> MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



[08:43] <GERMATOID> OUR FIRST QUESTION TODAY COMES FROM JAY NAVOK
[08:44] <// J_Daito //> Oh yes, he who mispells my name in the Ninja way
[08:45] <FireFly_9> Actually, that is how they render it in the Manga and the Anime
[08:45] <// J_Daito //> Yes and if we obeyed all the Engrish ever seen on Japanese TV the gates to the afterlife would read "Wellcome".
[08:46] <Mdm_Maestro> I don't think "Jadeite" is Engrish...
[08:46] <// J_Daito //> I AM THE MIGHTY DARK GENERAL JEDITE! I AM NOT NAMED AFTER SOME BLASTED GREEN ROCK AND DAMN ANY
[08:47] <GERMATOID> *MINERAL*
[08:47] <// J_Daito //> Wha-- Mineral, fine whatever, I'm not named after it!! I don't care what that Hack Takeuchi says!
[08:47] <FireFly_9> That "hack" made you famous.
[08:48] <// J_Daito //> Oh, and what, am I supposed to be *grateful* or something?
[08:48] <FireFly_9> I know it's asking much from your vile and corrupted self, but without her we would all be nebulous concepts swirling about the Spiritus Mundi...
[08:49] <GERMATOID> I *HATE* THAT THING! IT KEEPS STEALING MY INVENTIONS!! ANYWAY, MR. NAVOK ASKS
[08:49] <// J_Daito //> Yes, what does our Favorite Romulan have to say?
[08:49] <GERMATOID> ?
[08:49] <FireFly_9> Sisko and Garak assassinated him on Deep Space 9
[08:50] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> butt siko dint kno abut tit
[08:50] <FireFly_9> He was an accessory.
[08:50] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> lik mi lipstack or thang?
[08:50] <FireFly_9> Not *that* kind of Accessory.
[08:51] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> lik mi muskly chipndales min whoo cari mi on dere sholdars?
[08:51] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> o_O;;
[08:51] <FireFly_9> No, not like them either...
[08:52] <GERMATOID> HE ASKS!!!
Recognizing that none of the suburban senshi have pets - why not? And if they could have one, what kind would they choose?
I guess that's technically two questions. But I'm special so I get 2.



[08:52] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Only because you host the server, my friend... only because you host the server
[08:52] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Well I just don't want pets...
[08:52] <Mdm_Maestro> Liar... why don't you tell them about the Goldfish you had when you were 15
[08:53] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I told you NEVER to tell anyone about it!!
[08:53] <Mdm_Maestro> heh
[08:53] <FireFly_9> What goldfish, Haruka-poppa?
[08:54] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> How was I supposed to know that ground up beef jerky was bad for them! I just thought as long as I put it in flake form they would be fine!!!
[08:54] <FireFly_9> ¬_¬;
[08:55] <Mdm_Maestro> The Vodka, Haruka... tell them about the Vodka...
[08:55] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> wodka?
[08:55] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Man, you can't tell me you never wanted to see what a drunk goldfish was like...
[08:56] <GERMATOID> ...
[08:57] <// J_Daito //> So she fed it some vodka, what's the big deal?
[08:57] <Mdm_Maestro> Do fish "drink", Jedite?
[08:57] <// J_Daito //> Do I look like a Naturalist to you?
[08:57] <Mdm_Maestro> She filled the WHOLE tank with Vodka.
[08:58] <GERMATOID> EWWWW!
[08:58] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dammit, I don't wanna talk about Mr. Poopie anymore...
[08:58] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> mr popy LOL
[08:58] <Mdm_Maestro> Ever since then Haruka has not wanted to have a pet...
[08:59] <Mdm_Maestro> I, of course, have no time for the care and nurturing of dependent animals, what with my painting and such... but Haruka and I DID take the time to adopt a pet, which we carefully raised for almost a year.
[09:00] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> We did?
[09:00] <Mdm_Maestro> Say "hewwo" to "da widdle peeple" 'Taru-chan! Say "Hewwo!"
[09:00] <FireFly_9> My wrath shall be black and cold, the sharp talons of my vengeance swift, merciless and cruel. Your silent cries of mortal agony shall go unheeded by the heavens; the burning flames of your black pain and misery shall provide sweet succor to the depraved legions of Hell.
[09:02] <// J_Daito //> I like this kid!
[09:02] <GERMATOID> WELL I HAVE MY PET DAIMONS, YOU KNOW... NOT TO MENTION MASTER PHARAOH 95... BUT IF I COULD CHOOSE ANOTHER I WOULD CHOOSE A GENETICALLY ALTERED KOALA! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
[09:04] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> i jst wuld lik 2 ha mi popa az a pat, den hi culd bi mi bich!! MUSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHS!
[09:04] <FireFly_9> I would prefer a black cat, silent as the night, yet curious and aloof.
[09:05] <// J_Daito //> Why don't you kidnap Luna and cut out it's tounge?
[09:05] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Where is this Anti-Luna thing coming from anyway, Jed?
[09:06] <// J_Daito //> HELLO? She trained those girls to KILL me!! Even my INCREDIBLY HOT Girlfriend Hino Rei, who has since repented!!
[09:06] <GERMATOID> THERE'S A QUESTION ABOUT HER IN HERE SOMEWHERE, TOO... I'M SURE WE'LL GET TO IT...
[09:07] <GERMATOID> OUR NEXT QUESTION COMES FROM "KNIFEY", WHO ASKS:
I know Haruka and Michiru have been to a Tea Ceremony but what does everyone else think of them? encluding the two said goddesses?


[09:07] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> It makes me look cool, so it's cool. Murder on the legs though, but I'm such a good athlete it doesn't faze me one bit!
[09:07] <Mdm_Maestro> It is a noble and honorable tradition I am proud to say I have mastered.
[09:08] <// J_Daito //> Bah, it's a waste of time! I say just charge in, take the teacup, knock it back and get the hell out!
[09:09] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> it lik maks mi legs go al num wich is god cuz den dady haz 2 lit mi up on hiz shuldars n den itz almst lik c[BLEEEEEP]s!!
[09:10] <FireFly_9> CHIBIUSA-CHAN!
[09:10] <Mdm_Maestro> That's incredibly FOUL!
[09:10] <GERMATOID> NASTY! MUAHAAHAHAHAH!
[09:11] <FireFly_9> That... hideously disgusting comment aside, I think the Tea Ceremony is a wonderful, if underappreciated aspect of traditional Japanese society. Far too little time is spent in today's society to relax and contemplat
[09:12] <GERMATOID> YAAAAAAWN I JUST GO FOR THE TEA! MUAHAHAAAHA!
[09:15] <GERMATOID> AHH, HERE'S THE QUESTION ABOUT REI, IT'S FROM DALLBUN, WHO WRITES:
Hey, everybody... if you *really* want to find out what's going on with Rei and Jadeite and find out if she's a bot once and for all, why not have Professor Tomoe dig out Eudial's Electric Warp and have someone trace her connection back to the source?


[09:15] <// J_Daito //> ...!
[09:15] <// J_Daito //> What's this Electric Warp thing?
[09:16] <♥ Cést la Vie ♥> I've seen that!! It's wicker!!
[09:16] <FireFly_9> "Wicked?"
[09:16] <♥ Cést la Vie ♥> "Wickedly cold!!
[09:16] <FireFly_9> "Wickedly cool".
[09:17] <♥ Cést la Vie ♥> That too!!
[09:17] <GERMATOID> THAT'S A DAMN GOOD IDEA...
[09:17] * GERMATOID GOES LOOKING AROUND

[09:17] <// J_Daito //> Uhh... Uhh... what does this thing do, exactly?
[09:18] <Mdm_Maestro> It's some kind of Toy of one of the Professor's ex-henchwomen
[09:18] <♥ Cést la Vie ♥> It provides a dualflow electron gate interface between the M-state universe and the E-state subreality via which electronic pulses and solidified bound matter can be easily interchanged
[09:19] <FireFly_9> ... Minako-san?!
[09:19] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Damn girl, I didn't know you know all that!
[09:20] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> WTF itz prubably atremis tiping on har kibroad
[09:20] *** [ Dr_Xadium ] has kicked .'~SugaBB_2999~'. from #suburbansenshi (REASON: Do not doubt the Genius of Minako-sama! )

[09:20] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> :P
[09:20] <♥ Cést la Vie ♥> Actually that WAS Artemis! ^_^;;
[09:20] <♥ Cést la Vie ♥> @}-,-'--
[09:21] *** .'~SugaBB_2999~'. [cndygrrl@gigaport.capitalnet.ct] has joined #suburbansenshi

[09:21] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> faking materfacker wen i gat m hans on U im gona rip ot yer anis!!!
[09:21] <// J_Daito //> Your Anus is right here
[09:22] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> You know, I'm going to kill you one of these days... just to watch you die.
[09:22] <// J_Daito //> Now I know why I like you so much, Ten'ou... you're the least "do-goody" of the Senshi
[09:22] <Mdm_Maestro> Oh, she used to be the righteous and noble one, you know... in the beginning...
[09:23] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Look, I am JUST a pragmatist, OK? Nothing wrong with a little applied pragmatism...
[09:23] <FireFly_9> Well I DO WISH you would stop applying it to ME!
[09:23] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Man I haven't killed you in years, what're you talkin' about?
[09:24] <FireFly_9> -_-#
[09:24] <FireFly_9> Well since Poppa seems busy looking for the Electric Warp device, let me handle the next question, which co-incidentally happens to be for me.. ^_^
[09:25] <// J_Daito //> Narcissist
[09:25] <FireFly_9> UltraMatt writes me:
What sort of books do you like to read? Oh, and Hotaru, You are defantly NOT a goth. Ignore what everyone else says and Keep on Going!!! (Gives thumbs up)


[09:26] <FireFly_9> Thank you for the kind words of encouragement, UltraMatt! Nice to see someone notices my true nature around here...
[09:27] <FireFly_9> I like to read ancient books, classic works of poetry and literature, books dealing with the supernatural and the paranormal, works about such diverse topics as forbidden archaeology and the DaVinci code (which I think is a spurious presentation) and works dealing with prophecies and the Eschaton.
[09:29] <FireFly_9> Did you know that W.B. Yeats (my favourite poet) claimed to have communicated with the spirit world? A compilation of his writing in that regard called "A Vision" was published some years ago... it's very interesting, if convoluted reading.
[09:29] <FireFly_9> This next question is for "Jadeite/Jedite/'Mr. Maxx Power' [*snorts*]/whatever and both members of the Tomoe family", and it's from C-chan...
[09:32] <// J_Daito //> Yeah, everybody wants to talk to Mr. Maxx Power, yah!
[09:32] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Why DO you call it that, anyway?
[09:34] <// J_Daito //> Because Nobody snuggles with Maxx Power...You strap yourself in and feel the G's!!!
[09:34] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> lol
[09:34] <FireFly_9> How juvenile...
What's your opinion on Mary-Sues? I mean, they are so annoying, everyone hates them, they make people want to wash their eyes out with acid, and they are annoyingly and utterly perfect...if Jedite and Tomoe worked together to clone a bunch, you could easily take over the world! And I'm sure Hotaru-chan has an opinion on Mary-Sues as well, considering they ruin the wonderful works of Tolkien, Rowling, and Takeuchi...and quite a few other canons as well...


[09:35] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> I don't know how to take this...
[09:35] <FireFly_9> Well fortunately, you *don't*, as the question wasn't directed at you...
[09:35] *** [ Dr_Xadium ] has kicked FireFly_9 from #suburbansenshi (REASON: Don't be a smartass )

[09:36] <// J_Daito //> That's telling her! Let me tell you, C-chan, if I saw ANYONE named Mary Sue, I'd kill her on sight!
[09:36] *** FireFly_9 [ruin@ntt1.docomo.jp] has joined #suburbansenshi

[09:36] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yeah, but that's because of her being *alive*, not necessarily being a "Mary Sue"...
[09:37] <FireFly_9> I believe that Mary Sues are an abomination...
[09:37] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> Yeah I mean if the author wants to show up he should damn well have the guts to be there himself and not make some cleverly disguised doppelganger!
[09:38] <FireFly_9> This was *my* question...
[09:38] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Man if a Mary Sue was cleverly disguised I don't think it would be a Mary Sue... it's just a self-insertion gone bad
[09:39] <♥ Cést la Vie ♥> "Self Insertion" sounds ecchi
[09:39] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> lol
[09:39] <// J_Daito //> Yes yes, old joke... where's Tomoe the Elder anyway?
[09:40] <GERMATOID> MUAHAHAAH! FOUND THE ELECTRIC WARP!!
[09:40] <// J_Daito //> ...umm, Tomoe, what do you intend to do with that?
[09:40] <GERMATOID> OH, NOTHING... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
[09:41] <FireFly_9> So what do you think about Mary Sues, Papa?
[09:41] <GERMATOID> I THINK I DATED HER IN CRAM SCHOOL KINDERGARTEN ONCE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SHE PLAYED A MEAN GAME OF TWISTER! AND WHEN SHE TWISTED JUST THE RIGHT WAY-- MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
[09:41] <FireFly_9> ... never mind.
[09:42] <GERMATOID> OH, JED, COULD YOU BRING YOUR "INCREDIBLY HOT" GIRLFRIEND ONLINE FOR A SEC?
[09:42] <// J_Daito //> Oh no, I'm not going to let YOU play Twister with her! That is OUR funtime activity!
[09:43] <GERMATOID> NO, I JUST WANT TO ASK HER... ERM, ABOUT KUJI-IN MEDIATION!
[09:44] <// J_Daito //> Oh that Shinto stuff? Okay, let me get her
[09:44] *** // J_Daito // [Jed@dialup666.darkkingdom.co.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (Everything that elevates an individual above the herd and intimidates the neighbor, is henceforth called evil.)

[09:44] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> LOL prof will this work?
[09:44] <GERMATOID> HEH HEH HEH
[09:45] <FireFly_9> In the meantime, let's get to our last question, which is
[09:45] <Mdm_Maestro> You know, if we live in the same house as Jedite, and presumably he's cohabitating with Hino Rei, how come we've never seen her around here?
[09:45] <FireFly_9> That is *not* the next question... but it is a good one, I must confess...
[09:45] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> How often do you two go down to the Sub-sub basement?
[09:46] <FireFly_9> Good point... I dislike travelling to the basement because Papa's lab is there.
[09:47] <Mdm_Maestro> Basements are filthy things, I should scorn to touch one.
[09:47] <FireFly_9> Our last question is-- wait, are you saying you've been down there, Haruka-poppa? Have you seen her?
[09:48] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> No, that's why I was asking you guys!
[09:48] <FireFly_9> ¬_¬;
[09:48] <FireFly_9> At any rate, our next question is for Haruka-poppa and Michiru-momma, and is:
[09:48] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> hay Y da fak dunt kno 1 aks mi ani dam qestionz hah!?
[09:49] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Because you're [BLEEP]ing illegible, that's why
[09:49] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> so wat iv im fackng ilegible! jast cuz satsuna iz mi momy insed of qieen serendopity dn't men no1 can aks mi a FACKING QESTION!
[09:50] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ...
[09:50] *** // J_Daito // [Jed@dialup666.darkkingdom.co.jp] has joined #suburbansenshi

[09:50] *** - spiritflame - [FireSoul@ip999.TA.edu.jp] has joined #suburbansenshi

[09:51] <FireFly_9> Getting on to the last question now, which is from Joost Van Der Westhuizen:
Ami and Makoto have been gaining popularity in the shoujo-ai fandom for quite some time now, and as major sites such as shoujoai.com adopt the pair as their flagship couple, it looks like they'll be swiping the title of "most popular shoujo-ai pairing" from you guys pretty soon. How do you feel about losing a popularity contest to a younger, NON-canon pairing from the SAME series? I realise you already have issues with them, but do you think they make a good couple? Or do you just want to kill them more because of it?


[09:52] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Look we don't do what we do to gain popularity points
[09:52] <Mdm_Maestro> Is this filth TRUE? Are we being DISPLACED?!
[09:52] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> We just love each other and so you know, that's all there is to it, really
[09:53] <Mdm_Maestro> We've spent too much time in this DAMN channel instead of going out into the world and letting our PERFECTION shine across the world! When those WHELPS can win--
[09:53] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> It's all about the romance and the sweetness of Togetherhood
[09:54] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka, we obviously haven't given the fanfic authors enough reason to indulge their sick minds about our nocturnal activities!!!
[09:54] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> YOu see, while a lot of people might think all we do is [BLEEP] like animals, we actually have a balanced, caring relationship
[09:55] <Mdm_Maestro> Professor, give me a WEBCAMERA, Jedite, supply me with some ROPE, Haruka come HERE!!
[09:55] <FireFly_9> ...
[09:55] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yes, it's all about the lo
[09:56] *** Mdm_Maestro [SeaGoddess@art1.perfectco.co.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (THIS HAS TO BE FIXED NOW!!!)

[09:56] *** --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- [THaruka@FXL.blaze.co.jp] has quit IRC (Broken pipe)

[09:56] <// J_Daito //> Whoa
[09:56] <GERMATOID> IS THERE AN EARTHQUAKE GOING ON UP THERE?
[09:57] <FireFly_9> I... am certain the Earth is moving for *someone*...
[09:57] * FireFly_9 get the earmuffs

[09:57] <// J_Daito //> Anyway, my INCREDIBLY HOT girlfriend is here as per request...
[10:00] <- spiritflame -> is it do incredibly hot girlfriend stop cannot attack enough it you!! course tv now are, music...
[10:00] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> LOL she wanted you bad... until the TV came on LOL
[10:00] <// J_Daito //> ... Souichi just ask your damn question
[10:00] <GERMATOID> ONE SEC LET ME FLIP THIS SWITC... OK! REI-SAN, TELL ME ABOUT KUJI-IN MEDITATION!
[10:02] <- spiritflame -> peaking hi "hot rides", da baby gonna clock out early! ready tomoe-babe!!
[10:02] *** - spiritflame - [FireSoul@ip999.TA.edu.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (I Burn Myself Perfectly)

[10:02] <// J_Daito //> WTF?! WTF?!?!
[10:02] <GERMATOID> MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!
[10:02] *** GERMATOID [MadProf@ip667.m2net.ips.gakuenmugen.edu.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (TIME FOR SOME TASTY... REI!! MUAHAHAHAHAA!

[10:03] <// J_Daito //> What the HELL NO! TOMOE, DON'T YOU DARE!!
[10:03] <FireFly_9> He's already left channel...
[10:03] <// J_Daito //> Butbut...
[10:03] <FireFly_9> Come now, Jedite, you and I know she's just some conversational AI Chat-bot.
[10:04] <// J_Daito //> NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! SHE ISN'T A DAMN CHAT BOT!!
[10:04] <FireFly_9> What...?
[10:05] <// J_Daito //> I KNOW THIS IS HARD TO BELIEVE, BUT THAT IS A REAL WOMAN DOWN THERE!!!
[10:05] <FireFly_9> Wait, you're not in the basement?
[10:05] <// J_Daito //> I'm using the KITCHEN computer!
[10:06] <FireFly_9> So papa... he's actually going to...
[10:06] <// J_Daito //> TOO LATE! THE MANIC LAUGHTER'S ALREADY STARTED!
[10:06] <// J_Daito //> REIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!
[10:06] <FireFly_9> Wait a moment! Not to be insensitive to your plight, but if Rei is your girlfriend, why would she so easily--
[10:07] <// J_Daito //> It's... it's not an AI chat bot... nor is it the anime's Hino Rei... it's the TV Live Action's incredibly hot Hino Rei...
[10:08] <FireFly_9> That doesn't change my
[10:08] <// J_Daito //> Or more precisely, a rather shallowly programmed fembot version of same!
[10:08] <FireFly_9> Good grief Jedite!!
[10:08] <// J_Daito //> And now your damn parent is having its way with my INCREDIBLY HOT--
[10:09] <FireFly_9> Your incredibly hot "fembot".
[10:09] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> lol diz is sik yo
[10:09] <// J_Daito //> Why aren't YOU worried, weren't you questing after Souichi?
[10:09] <FireFly_9> I think this house is shaking itself apart... the dual resonance is making the superstructure unstable...
[10:10] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> i dnt car wat he doez, he cn alwayz B mi mn!!
[10:10] <♥ Cést la Vie ♥> Cheer up Jedite!! its not like she Fried you or anything!!
[10:11] <// J_Daito //> I... I'm just going to have to remove all records of today from her RAM... yeah, that's it... IF I KNEW HOW!!! DR. EVIL NEVER TAUGHT ME THIS [BLEEP]!!!
[10:12] *** // J_Daito // [Jed@dialup666.darkkingdom.co.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (My black heart is broken, broken like a cheap vase over Ten'ou's head)

[10:11] <FireFly_9> This is so incredibly sad.

[10:11] <FireFly_9> Oh yes, almost forgot: "If you have a question for us, just send it to Ask the Suburban Senshi! We can make you famous ... or at least quasi infamous. :) Remember to specify the handle you want us to refer to you as when we answer! Since we get so many questions, we have to ask that you limit yourselves to one question per person per day! Thanks! Later!!"
*** Disconnected

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