Suburban Senshi: Racier than Spongebob.
#437: “MiST - DiC Moon”

*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= Suupaa Senshi Spessaru! =-'
[17:38] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Okay, I managed to get a look at something few have ever seen
[17:38] <FireFly_9> And with good reason.
[17:38] <// J_Daito //> This isn't exactly "Saban Moon", but it's just as amusing at points
[17:39] <Cést_la_V> After DiC(k) won the right to produce a Sailor Moon dub
[17:39] <GERMATOID> GEE WITH SABAN MOON THEIR ONLY COMPETITION, WAS IT EVEN A CONTEST?
[17:39] <Cést_la_V> they had to sell the show to TV stations, and so they had to make promotional videos!!
[17:40] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yeah, and so this _scandalous no video_ was born, which we've transcribed for your benefit (along with some screengrabs).
[17:41] <=^catablanca^=> THIS IS NOT FAKE. As you can see, it's actually too boring to be fake.


In 1969, the first man stepped on the moon, and history was made...


Now, get ready to make history again!

[17:41] <FireFly_9> So are we going to Mars?
[17:41] <Mdm_Maestro> Or to the mysterious depths of the sea?

Blast off with the most *powerful* series in 25 years... Sailor Moon!
(sound of gunshots as the logo comes closer in stop zooms)

[17:42] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Powerful... like a whiff of ammonia
[17:42] <// J_Daito //> No, like the first fart of the morning.
[17:43] <FireFly_9> So the last quarter-century was utterly devoid of good television?
[17:43] <=^catablanca^=> nothing beats 'Schoolhouse Rock!'
[17:43] <// J_Daito //> Or Transformers, GI Joe,
[17:44] <Cést_la_V> Jem
[17:44] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- laughs her ass off

She took Japan by storm, and now she's coming here--

[17:44] <GERMATOID> USAGI: THE CONQUEROR!


That's some thick flatulence...

Sailor Moon! is number one in France, Italy, Spain, Hong Kong and Japan!
And now she's Sailing to the USA!

[17:45] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> On a slow boat from Nihon
[17:45] <FireFly_9> Why do I feel the need to listen to some Enya?
[17:45] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> GOD NO! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS when I hear that song, I have to--- Let me sail, let me sail, let the orinoco flow,Let me reach, let me beach on the shores of tripoli.Let me sail, let me sail, let me crash upon your shore,Let me reach, let me beach far beyond the yellow sea.Sail away, sail away, sail away. Sail away, sail away, sail away. Sail away, sail away, sail away. From bissau to palau - in the shade of avalon, From fiji to tiree and the isles of ebony, From peru to cebu hear the power of babylon, From bali to cali - far beneath the coral sea. Turning up, turning up, turning up, up I do. ohh. Turning up, turning up, turning up, up I do. ohh. Turning up, turning up, turning up, up I do. ohh. Sail away, sail away, sail away. Sail away, sail away, sail away. Sail away, sail away, sail away. From the north to the south, ebudae into khartoum, From the deep sea of clouds to the island of the moon, Carry me on the waves to the land I’ve never been, arry me on the waves to the lands I’ve never seen. We can sail, we can sail... with the orinoco flow We can sail, we can sail... Sail away, sail away, sail away. We can steer, we can near with rob dickins at the wheel, We can sigh, say goodbye ross and his dependencies We can sail, we can sail Sail away , sail away, sail away We can reach, we can beach on the shores of tripoli. We can sail, we can sail Sail away , sail away, sail away From bali to cali - far beneath the coral sea. We can sail, we can sail Sail away , sail away, sail away From bissau to palau - in the shade of avalon, We can sail, we can sail Sail away , sail away, sail away We can reach, we can beach far beyond the yellow sea. We can sail, we can sail Sail away , sail away, sail away From peru to cebu hear the power of babylon, We can sail, we can sail Sail away , sail away, sail away We can sail, we can sail Sail away , sail away, sail away Sail away , sail away, sail away Sail away , sail away, sail away Sail away , sail away, sail away Sail away , sail away, sail away Ahhah, aahha, ah.
[17:48] <// J_Daito //> By MEtallia KILL ME
[17:48] * FireFly_9 chuckles darkly


If only they could use Powerpoint for good instead of evil...

Record Breaking ratings and shares! Sailor Moon is the biggest merchandising and sales phenomenon EVER in Japan!
Bigger than Power Rangers and Turtles combined!

[17:48] <FireFly_9> Uhh, that third graph is certainly not taller than the other two combined...
[17:49] <GERMATOID> IT'S NOT TO SCALE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Only available through this special TV offer!

We're talking serious MOON POWER!

[17:49] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> We're talking heavy liquor!


1.5 billion people are trying to see up my skirt

1 and a half billion dollars in retail sales, and now it's coming HERE with massive sales support from Bandai!

[17:50] <// J_Daito //> There's not that much money in the WHOLE WORLD!
[17:50] <FireFly_9> Massive support = a few keychains and kitbashed dolls


I am a GOLDEN GOD!

With Carmen Sandiego, DiC demonstrated that a female action adventure lead can appeal to both boys AND girls!
Sailor Moon has the same universal audience appeal!

[17:51] <=^catablanca^=> A show watchable by people of BOTH genders!
[17:51] <FireFly_9> No longer must we have separate, but equal anime!
[17:51] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Never *could* catch that damn Sandiego...


Hella Glamorous

Girls will love Sailor Moon's transformation from everyday schoolgirl to glamourous superhero!

[17:52] <FireFly_9> Uhh, they *did* watch this show before marketing it, didn't they?
[17:52] <Cést_la_V> Nah, this is the english dub of the Japanese promo tape
[17:53] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> You realize that only Michi and I are the real *glamourous* senshi?
[17:53] <Cést_la_V> Pardon me!!??


busting out all over

Boys will love the non-stop action!

[17:53] <// J_Daito //> LOL with a dress like that I bet they were expecting a certain type of "action"
[17:54] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Too bad it just turned out to be Neffy / Zoey action
[17:54] * // J_Daito // shudders


This is an action-adventure series that will blow your MIND!

[17:54] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yeah, the dub surely did
[17:54] <GERMATOID> LIKE A BAD ACID TRIP! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

With powers granted by a celestial guardian named Luna, who takes the form of a black cat,

[17:55] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Wait, you mean Luna *assimilated* some poor cat?
[17:55] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- looks at Artemis warily

[17:55] <=^catablanca^=> Hey, waitasec--
[17:55] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> SILENCE, BODYSNATCHER! I know your *secrets* now...
[17:59] <=^catablanca^=> =^.^=;;

and with the magic of her secret incantation, "Moon Power,"

[17:59] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> The hell? So those fundamentalists were right and she *is* a witch?!
[17:59] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> lik if ittz sew facking sacret den haw cum wi kno ti!?!1

An ordinary high school girl named Victoria transforms into the superhero known as--
(Mickey Mouse-esque Tress MacNeille Babs Bunny style voice) Sailer Moon!

[18:00] <FireFly_9> Gods, that helium voice!
[18:00] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Victoria?
[18:01] <// J_Daito //> So "Victoria" has a "Secret"...
[18:01] <Mdm_Maestro> Please don't go any further in that direction, Jedite
[18:01] <// J_Daito //> Why not, all the Doujin have...

Her friend "Blue" becomes "Sailor Mercury"

[18:01] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- chokes with laughter

[18:02] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> That's so fuc[BLEEP]ing original
[18:02] <=^catablanca^=> Wasn't "Blue" the name of the *dog* in "Wolf's Rain"?
[18:02] <Mdm_Maestro> It's also a primary color

Her friend "Sara" becomes "Sailor Jupiter"
Her friend "Dana" becomes "Sailor Mars"

[18:03] <FireFly_9> Dana... Scully, the Shinto Paranormal Investigator

Her friend "carrie" becomes "Sailor Fetus!"

[18:04] <FireFly_9> I do believe that is "Venus".
[18:04] <// J_Daito //> It's hard to tell with these squeaky voices they're using
[18:04] <Cést_la_V> It's true, it's like they got one high-pitched girl whose voice box hadn't broken in yet and then they stepped on her feet, pinched her ears and scared her with rats to get all the different voices
[18:05] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> ror

The sailors are aided by a mysterious stranger known only as... the Masked Tuxedo!

[18:05] * // J_Daito // snorts

[18:05] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> OMFG... that actually sounds cool in a nonsensical Gaijin-Engrish sort of way
[18:06] <FireFly_9> How the hell does a Tuxedo wear a *mask* anyway?

The Sailors have sworn to protect Earth against the Wicked Queen Beryl and her alien ally from another Dimension--

[18:06] <// J_Daito //> The *next* dimension
[18:07] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> HFIL
[18:07] <=^catablanca^=> That place Negaduck comes from

They've come to take over our world-- and only Sailor Moon and her friends can stop them!
(Mickey Moon voice: MOON POWER!" )

[18:07] <FireFly_9> If that's our last, best, hope... I'm dropping the Glaive right now.

Over 90 million fans worldwide can't be wrong!

[18:08] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh yes, yes they can


Blast off for the moon! SAILOR MOON!
Coming this fall from DiC!

[18:09] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> And we all know how this [BLEEP] turned out, don't we
[18:09] <FireFly_9> Don't remind me...
[18:09] <=^catablanca^=> They showed so much promise...
[18:10] <Cést_la_V> No they didn't
[18:10] <=^catablanca^=> True, True
*** Disconnected

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