Ryan Flood (rflood@medaille.edu)
[Xadium's note: I just rewrote Chibiusa's Dialogue to be consistent with Suburban Senshi]
"..." ~ Speaking
(...) ~ Author Interjection
#...# ~ Telepathy
Haruka having been left behind by Hotaru and the others has decided to make her own time machine a la 'Back to the Future' out of her prized Ferrari.
"Hey Prof! You have a nuclear reactor that would fit in the trunk of a car?" Haruka asks Tomoe while scrounging for parts.
"NUCLEAR REACTOR HUH? I THINK I'VE GOT ONE RIGHT UP YOUR ALLEY. MUHAHAHAHAHA!" He pulls out a small generator looking device that looks like it's been around the block a couple of times.
"IT RUNS ON URANIUM!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Tomoe says while laughing his ass off at his own humor.
"Um.... right..... Uh.. Thanks..." Haruka replies while having a tiny sweatdrop by her head.
After installing the micro nuclear reactor that runs on Uranium... (In the background we hear: 'MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!') into the Ferrari, Haruka prepares to leave for the future.
"Hey, you want me to bring you back a souvenir?" She shouts down to Tomoe in his lab.
"SURE! HOW ABOUT SOME FUTURISTIC CHEMICALS FOR ME TO EXPERIMENT ON STUFF WITH?"
".... I'll see what I can do........" Haruka replies with a HUGE sweatdrop.
Haruka revs the engine and tears off at a speed much more than necessary to time travel. After a short while of doing this she realizes that she's not going anywhere. Well not through time anyways, just though the neighborhood scaring the crap out of the neighbors. She then pulls back to the house err... crater... to see if there was something she missed in the instructions.
"Man, I followed the directions EXACTLY! How come it didn't work?" She shouts in annoyance.
"HMMM... DID YOU BASE YOUR TIME MACHINE ON THAT MOVIE THAT WAS ABOUT THE INVENTIONS OF ONE OF MY OLD COLLEGUES??" Tomoe inquires.
"Yeah......; Wait you know DOC BROWN?" Haruka wonders about how that's possible.
"OF COURSE I DO! HE AND I ALWAYS USED TO DEBATE QUANTUM PHYSICS DURING LUNCH AT HIGH SCHOOL! MUHAHAHAHA!!" He replies with actual honesty.
"Whoa.... So anyways, any idea what went wrong?"
"WELL BROWN WAS ALMOST RIGHT ON THE MONEY WITH THAT STUFF ABOUT NUCLEAR POWER AND HIGH SPEED BEING NEEDED TO TIME TRAVEL. BUT HE FORGOT ABOUT ONE IMPORTANT THING."
"Which was?" Haruka eagerly inquired.
"YOU NEED TO HAVE A TEMPORAL IRREGUALITY FOCAL POINT!"
"A what?" Haruka asks, slightly more than perplexed.
"SOMETHING THAT'S PRACTICALLY MADE OUT OF TIME ITSELF AND IS VERY SMALL. MUHAHAHAHA!!"
Haruka ponders this for a moment. Then an idea hits her like Michiru's cooking hitting her digestive tract. (Gross analogy, I know, but this idea hit her hard....)
"Hey Prof., where's what's left of Setsuna's room?"
"HUH? UM THAT WAY I GUESS...." The Professor replies and points over and to the left.
"Thanks!" And she runs off....
Rummaging though the rubble that was once the Guardian of Time's room, Haruka finds what she was looking for.
"Heh heh heh..... Setsuna's extra little Time Keys.." She says, with a huge grin on her face cause she's such a genius for having thought of this. There's quite a few there: one to 79 AD, Pompeii; one to the Feudal Era (think Inu Yasha); one to the Mejii Era (Rurouni Kenshi); one to 'AC 195' (Gundam Wing); one to November 2000, Miami Dade County (heh heh heh....); one to??? BC (Warning: Big Bang); and the two she was looking for: 30th Century, and 21st Century, for her destination and so she could get back.
Haruka rushes back to the Ferrari, jumps in, and slides the Time Key labeled '30th Century: Crystal Tokyo, Main Entryway' into the ignition; all in one fluid motion. (Cause she's just that damn good.... ;D )
Turning the ignition the car turned time machine roars to life and emits a faint aura.
Haruka then proceeds to do what she does best. Make any vehicle go faster than should be physically possible, let alone legal...
"WAHOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"NOW THERE GOES ONE HAPPY SENSHI! COME P-95 CHAN, LET'S GET SOME TASTY COFFEE! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"So Minako-sempai, where exactly is Chibi-usa chan?" Hotaru asks after learning of Chibi-usa's condition from constant traumatic brain injuries and poor 'education'.
"Well, let's see. Her daily birthday party should have ended about ten minutes ago, so she should either be trying to, well.... you know... Elios. Or she's probably trying to bunt down Endymion to do the same." Minako replies matter of factly.
"You mean 'hunt down'?" Hotaru corrects instinctively.
"Yeah that too..."
"Okay then where's Usagi-san?" Hotaru asks, curious of what the other Odango-haired one is up to.
"Well since it's almost one o'clock.... Still sleeping. For at least three more hours. Or more...." Minako answers slightly exasperated.
"Right.... And she doesn't suspect any of this charade?"
"Well there was that one time she almost saw the outside of the city when she was chasing around Chibi-usa for trying to sock up Endymion, but she was too busy trying to paste her to notice." Minako states while recalling the interesting events of that day.
"...... you mean .... 'knock-up'...ugh.... and 'waste her'?" Hotaru asks/corrects all the while cringing.
"yeah I guess that works too..." Minako lightly states.
"Minako-sempai that is so wrong on so many levels." Hotaru states while still somewhat disgusted.
"Yeah. But we can't really do anything about it no matter how hard we fly."
"How hard you try." She corrects Minako once again.
"We do that too." Minako somewhat cheerfully replies.
Hotaru simply sweatdrops....
Meanwhile outside of the palace...
Jedite leads his 'troops' to take over the Crystal Palace. Although he's getting quickly fed up as the brain-washed otaku don't have much stamina and keep needing to take breaks from walking...
"I'm beginning to wonder if these 'senshi' are even really senshi, or just some lame diversionary tactic to try and trick enemies..." Jedite ponders out loud.
Jedite blasts a random fat senshi that fell way too far behind. Said senshi is instantly vaporized.
"Hey you, Sailor...."
"Sailor Gundam, master Jedite." The senshi with a v-shaped antenna on her tiara interjects.
"Right... How long ago did you discover your 'powers'?" Jedite asks of his brainwashed minion.
"Powers?" She asks curiously.
"Yes, powers. You know to transform, use energy attacks, things like that." Jedite states with a slight hint of impatience.
"OH! 'Powers'." A look of comprehension dawns on the face of the senshi he is addressing.
"YES!" He shouts out in exasperation and impatience.
"I don't have any powers." She calmly states.
[A dramatic pause]
"WHAT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE ANY POWERS!!??" Screams Jedite at the hapless 'senshi'.
"I'm just a cosplayer. The real senshi are the ones with powers. Ours are just special effects." Sailor Gundam replies.
"Gah....."
Jedite's jaw is nearly to the ground
"How.... how many of you dolts don't have any real powers?" Jedite inquires of his army of brainwashed 'senshi'.
A raise of hands shows that five thousand, nine hundred, thirty-two and a half of the assembled group don't have powers. Out of a group of only five thousand, nine hundred and thirty-two.
"GOD DAMN IT!!" He shouts out at the world in general.
Jedite wonders what deities he's pissed off lately to deserve this.
"Hey wait a minute... how did I get a count with half a person? Nevermind. Probably better to not ask..." Jedite muses to himself while pondering his situation.
"Hshshshshs..."
"Huh? What the hell was that?" Jedite asks to no one in particular.
"dat wuz mi u fackrr!" A shrill annoying voice cries out.
"Who's that, and what language are you supposed to be speaking?" Jedite inquires further.
"Itz mi, da gurgus sailer sanshi Chabi moan, da onri reel sanshi hear!" The annoying voice, now revealed to be Chibi-usa calls out.
"Oh... its just the spore of a pink brat of a rip-off of a wuss of a..." Jedite lists out numerous insults aimed at the pink-haired one.
"O sat da fack op Geydite!" Chibi-usa spits back.
"Anyways, why are you talking like that, and where can I find your wuss of a mother so I can rain down supreme vengeance on her and her little rag-tag band of heroes the senshi?" Jedite asks without any semblance of politeness.
"Shat pu u! Ey'm tlaking lik dis cuz dis waz how i waz taut 2 u mron!" Chibi-usa yells back at him.
"I think you should get your money back then spore head." Jedite quips back.
"Sht pu u! U went 2 thro dewn wit a sanshi, den u tro dewn wit mi!" She shouts out.
"Right, and I would give a damn about fighting you, why? Jedite asks with dripping sarcasm and a noticeable smirk.
"u jes saiyan dat cuz eyd woop ur az!" Chibi-usa retorts.
"A saiyan? Where? That would be a worthy challenge for one of my supreme power and skill." Jedite says mockingly.
"STFU! Moan Prizam Powar! Mek-op!" Chibi-usa shouts out.
Chibi-usa transforms into Sailor Chibi Moon, and instead of the usually silly poses the senshi make after transforming, she makes her own poses. (Which I will not describe as it would horrify you and cause you severe mental trauma.)
"Ughhhh....... That's... just wrong..." Jedite stutters out, utterly disgusted.
"STFU! Bich! Eye sailer Chibi Moan wal panish u en da nam ov da moan!" Chibi Moon shouts out in defiance.
"Whatever, pink runt. Chew on this."
Jedite tosses a pitch-black ball of energy at Chibi Moon, which she bats out of the way with her Pink Sugar Rod. Unfortunately for them, some of the cosplaying senshi aren't able to do that and are quite nicely vaporized.
"Hshshs... u massed mi, pankaz!" Chibi Moon taunts.
"Ha! That was nothing you spore child. My true power is far beyond that little speck that you somehow managed to deflect, which I am quite amazed that you were able do..." Jedite nonchalantly dismisses Chibi Moon.
"O ya! Chuu on das! Pank suga hart atak!" Chibi Moon exclaims calling out her attack.
Mini Moon fires a beam of her pink heart shaped energy at Jedite. To which, he yawns and knocks it aside with a half-assed backhanded slap sending it at the still milling crowd of mind-controlled cosplay senshi. Many of which fry instantaneously, including a Sailor Ranma-Chan, a Sailor Lum, and a Sailor Urd.
"Damn it, sporehead, now look what you made me do! That just wiped out some of my faithful followers. Not that they were of any actual use to me... but it's the principle behind it! Aw, screw it." Jedite yells at the pink spore.
Jedite sends out a massive wave of dark energy at the crowd and Mini Moon, hoping to kill two birds with one stone. But considering the 'strength' of the cosplayers, it was more like eradicating several hatchlings with one massive boulder. Needless to say they were ALL wiped out.
"Heh, now that's how you take out senshi. Even if they were fake. That should solve that problem." Proclaims Jedite, proud of himself for his handy workmanship.
"Hshshshs... tht sakd azz Geydite!" Chibi Moon retorts.
Except for the spore...
"You survived that?!" Jedite asks incredulously.
"Ov corse i dad, u azz-hed!" Chibi Moon shouts back.
"Oh for Metallia's sake..."
Jedite teleports behind Mini Moon and hits her with a well-placed knife-edge strike behind the neck knocking her out cold.
"I'll deal with your scrawny ass later after I.... Hmmm... that's odd I have a strange feeling that I should move or else I'll suffer unspeakable agony. But I only get that kind of feeling when Tenou's around.... Hmm..." Jedite trails off.
Jedite takes several steps back, when out of nowhere, a certain Ferrari comes flying through going much faster than is safe or sane for that matter. Jedite manages to jump out of the way before the car has a chance to run over his foot as it would have if he had not moved a little to the left a few moments earlier. The car also misses the spore much to Jedite's disappointment.
"Who the hell could be driving as bad as Tenou in the 30th Century?!?!" Jedite wonders out loud.
Haruka pops her head out of the open window.
"WHOO!! That s[BLEEP]t kicked ass!!"
Jedite does a massive sweatdrop.
"It IS Tenou....."
"Hmm.... Jedite? How'd you get here?" Haruka asks having not heard his comments.
"On the downwind side of Tomoe's time machine." Jedite replies less than proudly.
"Oh. That sucks." Haruka observes and vocalizes.
"No s[BLEEP]t Sherlock...." Jedite intones.
"Heh, I am a genius aren't I?" Haruka says confident that her statement is absolute truth.
"No, your not."
"Shut up, general man. Hey! What's with the pink wonder over there?" Haruka asks, pointing at the pink-haired senshi near her front right fender.
"She just got in my way on my path to unspeakable evil and revenge." Jedite says with a matter of fact attitude.
"Oh, okay. Have you seen 'Taru or Artemis?"
"Nope. They're probably at the palace or something. Which I was where I was headed to, to destroy that accursed moon brat, before moon brat junior here got in the way." Replies the Dark General casually.
"Oh. Whatever. Need a lift?" Haruka asks of Jedite.
"Sure, what the hell..." Jedite replies with a sigh.
"Just throw the runt in the trunk for me will you?"
"Why?" Jedite asks not really caring about the spore.
"Cause I figure 'Taru might like to see her and all."
"Fine." Jedite says somewhat boredly.
Jedite tosses the still unconscious, but now de-transformed Chibi-usa into the trunk.
"Hey, isn't that a nuclear warhead in your trunk?" Jedite curiously asks.
"Yeah, probably. The Prof. gave it to me for my kick-ass time machine." Haruka answers.
She gently pats the side of the car.
"Is it safe to put the runt of a spore back in there?" Jedite asks with a semblance of curiosity.
"Don't know. Probably not." Haruka muses out loud.
"Good enough for me!" Jedite exclaims.
"Right....."
Jedite gets in the passenger seat and the car zooms off.
In the distance one can hear, "Slow down Tenou! God damn it!!!"
Yuuichiro has been wandering around looking for his precious 'Rei-sama'. He's had less than the success he's been looking for. So far he's run into sixteen school uniform Rei cosplayers, thirty-five miko attire Rei cosplayers, seventy-eight Sailor Mars cosplayers, thirteen Super Sailor Mars cosplayers, two 'alternate reality' Sailor Mars cosplayers, and somehow three Rei Ayanami Evangelion cosplayers (he wasn't quite sure as to where the hell they came from...). All of which obviously weren't the real Rei and didn't know where the real Rei was.
"Oh, Rei-sama, where could you be?" Yuuichiro sighs exasperated.
He catches a glint of red fabric out of the corner of his eye.
"Rei-sama?" He inquires curiously.
He heads around the corner to find.....
A Hino Rei cosplayer convention.
The sound of his jaw hitting the pavement was said to have been heard all the way in Neo Paris 5.
Also, an earthquake early warning detection system in Neo Tokyo 6 registered a brief tremor of 2.1 on the Richter scale originating from somewhere at sea level in the midst of the 'Crystal Tokyo Zone'.
Yuuichiro decides that what he is seeing is a sign from the Kami. Something profound like 'there are other fish in the sea' or 'Some things were not meant to be'.
As such he decides to give it a rest and go find Hotaru, so they could get back to their own time.
While he leaves he doesn't notice the REAL Rei Hino walk right past him to go to an autograph signing session at the cosplayer convention.
As she walks, not noticing him either, by she thinks, 'I wonder what ever happened to Yuuichiro... Oh well that's all in the past now.'
"I still can't believe that you and the other senshi put up with Usagi-chan's and Chibi-usa-chan's antics, Minako-sempai." Hotaru commented.
"Well Hotaru-chan sometimes it does get a little hectic, but its home. Sometimes I wish I could just take a vacation, but Usagi would probably notice and throw a kissy-fit." Minako mused.
"Hissy-fit." Hotaru corrected.
"Yeah that too I guess. Plus she might suspect that something's up and find out about our little 'secret'."
"It must be difficult." Hotaru said, wondering how the inner senshi could put up with it day after day.
"Oh yeah... like you wouldn't believe. But it is my duty to protect Usagi, from the world, and herself." Minako stated with a hint of pride and sadness.
"So true. Many leaders have needed to be protected from themselves. For example that American president in the early 21st century..." Hotaru was about to go into a political lecture that would have probably put Minako into a coma had she not been interrupted by a loud noise from outside.
"YEEHAWWWW!!"
"DAMN IT!! FOR METALLIA'S SAKE! SLOW DOWN TENOU!!!"
"Hmm... That sounds like Jedite and Haruka-poppa?" Hotaru wondered out loud.
"Maybe we should go see what's happening..." Minako suggested.
"Most definitely." Hotaru concurred.
Hotaru and Minako went out to see what or more appropriately who was making such as ruckus. Even though it was fairly apparent.
Yuuichiro by this time had made his way back to the palace. Just in time to get nearly run over by a speeding Ferrari being driven by a certain familiar senshi.
Luckily for Yuuichiro, Haruka made a quick sharp turn and missed him. But only by a fraction of an inch. From his nose.
"Haruka-kun what are you doing here?" asked a very curious Minako.
"Eh the usual... doing whatever I feel like and looking absolutely perfect while doing it." Haruka replies with immense pride in just how perfect she really is.
"Yeah right. I'd beg to differ your-anus!" Jedite intercedes.
"Shut up or I'll get Mercury-chan on your ass to freeze your sorry ass again!" Haruka barks back.
Jedite shuts up for now, but still mutters to himself about a 'self-righteous annoying lead-footed egotist'.
Haruka doesn't seem to notice this.
"So how've you been doing here in the future Minako-chan?" Haruka inquires.
"Well Crystal Tokyo is an amusement park, Usagi is lazy bum, and Minako here has been pretending to be her to keep up appearances." Hotaru casually replies before Minako can answer.
"Really?"
"Yes." Minako replies quite dejectedly.
"Man, sucks to be you." Haruka quips without missing a beat. "So what do you guys do for excitement around here?"
As Haruka finishes asking that a strange sense of impending doom descends upon the group. Haruka dismisses it as indigestion. Then a strange ripple in the air forms, pulsing with a strange energy. It begins to open into a portal of swirling red and black energies.
"Cool. That looks like a lot of fun. What is it?" Haruka asks not getting the idea that the portal probably isn't a good thing...
"Beats me." Minako answers.
"I sense a strange energy coming from it. It seems ancient. And evil." Hotaru says while slightly tensing up from the ill omens and bad vibes she's getting from the strange vortex.
"For once I'm going to have to agree with both Tenou and Tomoe. It IS evil, and it does look like it might be fun to throw stuff into it." Jedite states.
Hotaru groans at Jedite's warped sense of 'fun' and also that neither he nor Haruka seem to be taking her seriously.
After a moment a strange figure emerges from the portal. It is fairly tall and very well muscled. It has no hair and has dark green skin. It exudes an insanely powerful and evil aura. After it exits the portal it seals up again. The figure then speaks.
"Finally! After a thousand years in that accursed place I'm free again. So now I, Garlic Junior can rule this world like it was meant to be. HAHAHAHAHA! And without that annoying Son Goku and his friends, this world shall fall at my feet!"
"What!? Ruling the world and raining death and destruction is my job buddy!" Jedite yells at Garlic Junior.
"Is that so? Well just who exactly are you?" Garlic Junior demands.
"I am Jedite, Dark General of the Neo Dark Kingdom. You should be honored to stand in my presence!" Jedite spouts at Garlic Jr.
Jedite and Garlic Jr. begin to start yelling at each other about who's going to destroy civilization and then rule over what's left.
"I don't think we should let this Garlic Junior do what he wants with the future Haruka-papa." Hotaru states.
#"She's right you know Haruka."# A voice from thin air speaks to Haruka.
"Huh? Who's that?" Haruka wonders out loud.
#"It's me! Kaiou-sama."# Kaiou-Sama replies telepathically to Haruka.
"Hey! You're still alive in this time Kaiou?" Haruka retorts.
#"Of course I am! I'm a high ranking deity and nearly immortal! And it's Kaiou-SAMA to you Tenou Haruka."# Kaiou-Sama shouts at Haruka for her lack of respect.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Haruka mumbles.
#"Don't you whatever me! You need to stop that guy. He's Garlic Junior, and majorly evil. You can't let him escape, or else he'll totally destroy the Earth! In the past he almost beat Goku and Piccolo. You have to stop him. NOW!!"#
"Geez... okay, okay, I'll beat him senseless. Just stop yelling."
"Umm.. Haruka-papa, who were you talking to just now?" Asks Hotaru, wondering if Haruka is suffering from something that may have been caused by her own father.
"Just Kaiou-Sama. He says this Garlic Jr. guy needs the crap kicked outta him."
"Kaiou-Sama said that?" Hotaru asks incredulously.
"Well, not in those exact words... but close enough!" Haruka responds to Hotaru.
"Hey, Yuuichiro, do me a favor and move my car so it doesn't get green guy guts on it when I beat this guy senseless." Haruka requests of the priest in training.
"Uh, sure..." Yuuichiro complies and moves the Ferrari and himself for that matter a good ways away from the soon to occur carnage.
"All right you ugly, green, disgusting, inter-dimensional freak! Its go time!" Haruka shouts at Garlic Junior, breaking up his and Jedite's verbal sparring.
"No way Tenou! This biatch's ass is mine!" Jedite shouts out claiming his right to whup-ass.
"Ha! I'll take both of you on a once!" Garlic Junior replies.
"Fine then! Uranus Planet Power Make-Up!" Haruka shouts transforming into Super Sailor Uranus.
"Time for you to taste the power of true evil. Face the unstoppable might of the Dark Kingdom! HAAAA!!!" Jedite taunts Garlic Junior while powering up.
"We'd better transform just in case Minako-sempai. Saturn Planet Power Make-Up!"
"If you say so, Hotaru-chan. Venus Planet Power Make-Up!"
"Saturn, Venus. You two stay back and let me and Jedite take care of this punk." Uranus commands the two shorter senshi.
"Are you sure that's wise Haruka-papa?" Asks Saturn, only mildly concerned about Uranus' safety.
"Of course it is. Besides, Jedite and I are a lot stronger fighters all around than you two!"
"But, united we stand, divided we call!" Venus exclaims, trying to convince Uranus to let them fight too.
"That's fall, Venus-sempai...." Saturn corrects Venus, once again. "And Uranus is right. She and Jedite are better in terms of raw skill and ruthlessness. As I well know."
"Hey! Now's not the time to be bringing up that thing about me trying to kill you way back when okay!" Uranus shouts at Saturn, slightly agitated.
"Enough talk! Fight me! Unless you're too scared." Garlic Junior taunts.
"Chew on this!" Uranus shouts out launching into an attack against the green horror.
"Heh, about time!" Jedite mumbles loudly as he also charges at Garlic Junior.
Uranus launches several knife-hand strikes, a few uppercuts, and numerous punches at Garlic Junior on his right side. On the left side Jedite lashes out with wicked ax kicks, ferocious punches, and a nasty right hook or two. Garlic Junior parries most of the blows and those that do connect only make minimal damage. Garlic Jr. begins to counter with jabs, straights, and wicked uppercuts. Most of his hits land on the two fighters and most definitely do more damage than they are doing to him.
"All right time to get serious. Uranus World Shaking!" Uranus launches her golden energy globe at Garlic Jr. scoring a direct hit and singeing his right arm.
"As much as I hate to agree with Tenou, she's got the right idea. HAA!"
Jedite sends a beam of dark energy causing some minor burns on Garlic Junior's other arm.
"Ha! You call those attacks? Eat this!" Garlic Junior begins launching multiple beams of raw energy at the two fighters scoring a few hits and smashing up some of the surrounding area. By now their fight has moved a decent way from the palace.
The three combatants continue to trade blows and Ki Blasts, while also thrashing their surroundings from their missed shots and attacks.
"Arghh... Take this! Space Sword Blaster!" Uranus whips out the Space Sword and sends a wave of energy at Garlic Junior, clipping him in the leg, and continuing on through the street and right at Prof. Tomoe's 'TURDIS'. Which promptly explodes in a magnificent fireball, taking out some more real estate along with it.
"Damn it Tenou! That was the time machine! How are we going to get back now?" Jedite yells at Uranus for her obvious stupidity.
"How do think I got here moron?! We'll use my Ferrari to get back. Besides my time machine is much better smelling than the Prof.'s." Uranus shouts back in response.
"Right, whatever. Let's just deal with this idiot first." Jedite yells and indicates Garlic Junior.
The three continue to fight, doing more and more damage to the city. Venus and Saturn follow close by just in case.
As the fight goes on it begins to become apparent that Garlic Junior has a definite advantage over Jedite and Super Sailor Uranus.
Uranus launches a World Shaking at Garlic Jr. to distract him, so she can talk strategy with Jedite.
"We're getting our asses handed to us!" Uranus complains.
"No s[BLEEP]t!" Jedite snipes back.
"There's only one way we can win this thing...." Uranus begins to say.
"OH NO! I know where you're going with that and it ain't happening Tenou!" Jedite interrupts Uranus' statement.
"But Jedite, we really need to..."
"NO! I'll just finish him myself. There's no way he can stand up to my full power as 'Super Jedite'!" Jedite powers up with dark energy and charges at Garlic Junior, flinging dark energy bolts like there's no tomorrow. Garlic Jr. proceeds to deflect them all at the city destroying a lot of what was left. He then proceeds to pummel Jedite (in a way that can't be described here, because it would make the rating of this story jump up past being R-Rated). Garlic Junior then tosses the brutalized mass of flesh that somewhat resembles Jedite at Uranus' feet.
"Okay..... well maybe.. we could try your idea Tenou...." Jedite semi-slurs out.
"Good to see that you're seeing things my way Jedite. Venus we need a diversion!" Uranus shouts out to the senshi of love.
"One good diversion coming up! Venus Crescent Beam Shower!" Venus shouts out launching her attack surrounding Garlic Junior.
"Fuuuuu..."
"Hey Saturn, what are they doing with those funny poses?" Venus asks the younger senshi, honestly not knowing about the technique that the two are performing.
"Sion....."
"Oh dear god... they're fusing to Jeruka...." Saturn replies with a sense of dread.
"Fusing? Jeruka?" Venus asks without a clue as to what's going on.
"HAAAA!!"
With a blinding flash, Uranus and Jedite disappear, and in their place appears Jeruka, the Fused Shadow Senshi.
"Hah! Now we're ten times more powerful they we were separate!" Jeruka boasts.
"Neat trick. But if you think it will save you, you're sorely mistaken. You've just made it easier for me to kill you by making less targets." Garlic Junior comments on their futile attempt to defeat him.
"Heh, if you say so Garlic Breath!" Jeruka taunts Garlic Junior.
"No thanks, I prefer raw meat over Italian food." Garlic Junior counters without missing a beat.
"Ooh... Good comeback! But enough talk. Its time for you to eat your words!" Jeruka quips back.
"Fine by me!" Garlic Junior shouts back and then tosses a large globe of energy at our hero. Jeruka swats it aside destroying yet even more of Crystal Tokyo.
(By now almost 40% of Crystal Tokyo has smashed up in the various fighting)
"Not bad, but its time to die!" Yells Garlic Junior as he flies at Jeruka.
"My sentiments exactly!" Jeruka yells back as s/he? flies at Garlic Junior.
They clash mid-air trading blow after blow, the massive amounts of raw energy that they're given off causing the ground to begin to shake. Jeruka throws a wicked uppercut, which connects with Garlic Junior's jaw with a bone-shattering thud. Garlic Junior counters with a straight punch to Jaruka's face and backhand slap to the temple sending Jeruka into the ground.
"Damn! That hurt! A lot!" Jeruka states while pulling him/herself out of the Jeruka-shaped crater in the ground.
"Ready to give up and die yet?" Garlic Junior asks Jeruka.
"No. I'm just warming up." Jeruka replies and then charges at Garlic Junior again.
Garlic Junior and Jeruka clash again with shuddering force. Punches, kicks, and other physical attacks abound, each with enough force to level a building. And a few are leveled in the midst of the carnage.
Jeruka lands a lucky sucker punch and then slams Garlic Junior into the ground with a powerful suplex that Haruka had picked up recently from watching her favorite wrestlers go all out in a most entertaining cage match. Jeruka decides to go for a finishing blow. S/he summons forth a weapon forged from the combined power of Sailor Uranus's pure heart crystal and Jedite's pure evil heart crystal. A weapon called the Shadow Saber.
It appears to be similar to Sailor Uranus's Space Sword at first glance. But upon a closer look it is shown to have a blade forged from a strange mineral that is as black as obsidian, and as strong as Gundanium Alloy. In the blade there are two embedded gems that appear to be a perfect fusion of ruby and garnet. Upon one side is inscribed the sigil of Uranus. On the other is a strange glyph, presumably one used by the Dark Kingdom. (Think a symbol similar to the one that Nephrite put on stuff to steal people's energy) The entire sword radiates with immense power.
"Chew on this! Shadow Saber SLASH!!" Jeruka swings the blade with unparalleled force sending out a wave of dark crimson energy at Garlic Junior. The beam cuts Garlic Junior in two diagonally across his chest and abdomen.
"HA! Victory!" Jeruka shouts in triumph.
"Heh. Heh heh heh..." Garlic Junior begins to chuckle ominously.
"Huh? He's still alive? Well not for long." Jeruka muses as s/he prepares to launch another Shadow Saber attack.
"You don't get it do you? You can't kill me." Garlic Junior states with an apparent grin. He then proceeds to reattach his upper torso to his lower and regenerates.
"WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?" Jeruka shouts out in utter shock.
#"He's telling the truth Jeruka. A long time ago he made a wish with the Dragon Balls for immortality. That's why Goku and Gohan had to seal him into the Dead Zone."# Kaiou-Sama relates to the flabbergasted Jeruka.
"Then how the hell am I supposed to beat him!?" Jeruka asks to no one in particular.
Kaiou-Sama is about to respond when Jeruka speaks up again.
"Wait a minute... I just need to put him back into that Dead Zone thing, don't I?" Jeruka ponders.
#"Ah. It seems you do have a brain inside of that head of yours."# Kaiou-Sama comments to Jeruka.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Jeruka says with sarcasm dripping off of it. "So how do I get him back into the Dead Zone oh great Kaiou?"
#"Beats me."# Kaiou-Sama replies.
Jeruka facefaults at the lack of help the deity is able to offer.
"Oh man how am I supposed to send him back to the Dead Zone? I'd probably need some massive mystical power to open up that portal thing again." Jeruka ponders.
Garlic Junior decides to launch into another round of attacks. The two warriors clash doing noticeable damage to Jeruka, only semi-noticeable damage to Garlic Junior, and some very noticeable damage to their surroundings. A stray energy blast from Garlic Junior nearly hits Sailor Saturn who along with Sailor Venus have been following behind the fighters to be ready to step in if need be. Saturn deflects the blast with the Silence Glaive. Jeruka seeing this suddenly gets a brilliant idea.
"Supreme Shadow Shaking!" Jeruka launches a ringed orb much like Sailor Uranus's World Shaking, however formed of a dark purple energy as opposed to the usual orange hue the attack has.
Garlic Junior is thrown back from the impact of the attack.
"Saturn, throw me the Glaive!" Jeruka cries out.
"The Glaive? Why?" Saturn curiously asks.
"Just do it!" Jeruka yells in a commanding manner.
Saturn tosses the Glaive to Jeruka who catches it and gives it a twirl. Jeruka then uses a revised Kaioken Attack, which glows a dark crimson instead of the usual flame red, to channel all of his/her strength into one final attack. S/he darts forward at blinding speed, piercing the Silence Glaive straight through Garlic Junior's chest and heart.
"Arghh! That actually hurt! But you still don't get that no matter what you do, you CAN"T KILL ME!!" Garlic Junior shouts out with unparalleled rage.
"Wasn't trying to kill you." Jeruka calmly replies.
"What?" Garlic Junior asks, quite confused as to why the puny mortal who is going to pay quite dearly for their insolence, is so confident.
"You've been in the Dead Zone for over a thousand years. So after all that time the energies of that place have to have quite thoroughly saturated your being. Meaning that you carry a bit of the Dead Zone with you, no matter where you go. The Silence Glaive here, has the ability to warp the fabric of reality. So the Glaive's power warps some of your essence into a portal into the Dead Zone." Jeruka states with a great sense of pride.
"WHAT!?" Garlic Junior screams.
"Just look behind you ugly." Jeruka answers nonchalantly.
Looking behind him, Garlic Junior sees that a portal back to the Dead Zone is indeed forming just behind him. He is also able to feel the Dead Zone's pull, calling back his, as Jeruka pointed out, Dead Zone saturated body.
"NOOO!!!" Garlic Junior screams out in utter horror.
"Bye Bye! Supreme Shadow Shaking!" Jeruka pulls out the Silence Glaive and blasts Garlic Junior with his/her dark tectonic attack to give the Dead Zone a helping hand in reclaiming Garlic Junior's sorry ass.
"NOOooooooo..." Garlic Junior's voice can be heard as he falls back into the Dead Zone once again.
"Ha! Another victory for the Amazing Jeruka!" Jeruka exclaims in triumph.
Jeruka then diffuses back into Jedite and Super Sailor Uranus. Uranus then de-transforms back to Haruka.
#"Good job beating back Garlic Junior you guys, but what about the Dead Zone portal?"# Kaiou-Sama comments to Haruka and Jedite.
"Uh, we were hoping that it would just close up by itself when we were done like when Garlic Junior first popped out." Haruka states.
Kaiou-Sama, Saturn, and Venus sweatdrop...
#"It doesn't work that way Haruka."# Kaiou-Sama informs her.
"Oh... oops..." Haruka replies.
#"OOPS!?!? What do you mean, 'OOPS'!? It's a good thing that I'm here to bail your sorry butts out of this mess."#
"Okay, so spill. How do we fix this?" Haruka asks as the Dead Zone portal begins to suck up the parts of the city that hadn't been totally thrashed during the fight.
#"To close the Dead Zone portal, you need to hit it with a massive amount of combined light energy and dark energy."# Kaiou-Sama explains.
"I've got your dark energy right here!" Jedite brags.
#"That's good, now we just need some high-powered light energy."# Kaiou-Sama replies.
"Light energy? Would the Silver Crystal work?" Venus asks.
#"Yeah I guess so..."# Kaiou-Sama begins to reply.
Sailor Venus pulls out the Silver Crystal from her pocket or something.
"How'd you get that?!?" Haruka exclaims.
"Being Usagi-chan's double has some nice fringe benefits. Plus we don't trust her with it..." Venus answers casually.
"Well get to it and seal that portal thing already then!" Haruka shouts at Venus and Jedite.
"Alright. Silver Crystal Venus Planet Attack!" Venus shouts out the name of her most powerful attack combined with the power of the Silver Crystal.
"Dark Kingdom Black Death Ki Bomb!" Jedite shouts, calling out his most powerful attack.
The attacks lash out and combine striking the Dead Zone portal. The portal begins to waver.
"All right! It's working!" Shouts out Haruka in triumph.
#"Uh-oh"# Kaiou-Sama utters.
"Uh-oh? What do you mean 'Uh-oh'?" Haruka asks of Kaiou-Sama.
#"I think I miscalculated... The Silver Crystal and Dark Kingdom energies will get rid of the Dead Zone portal..."# Kaiou-Sama begins to explain.
"Hey! That's good!" Haruka comments.
#"But... Not by closing it..."# Kaiou-Sama continues.
"Huh?" Haruka asks curiosity steeped in her voice.
#"But by causing it to explode."# Kaiou-Sama finishes.
"Oh. OH s[BLEEP]t!!" Haruka exclaims.
The Dead Zone portal shakes violently and then explodes wiping out a huge portion of the already trashed city. The resulting shockwave then wipes out what little of the city was left standing. After the dust settles the entire group stands de-transformed and covered in soot and debris.
"Well, at least we're alive... I think..." Haruka states.
Artemis then comes running up to the group followed by the inner senshi.
"I think you guys should probably be leaving now. Usagi-chan is probably going to be a little miffed that you guys wrecked her precious city." Artemis states.
From the distance we hear a piercing scream.
"Where is my Crystal?!? Where's Minako?!?" Neo Queen Serenity shouts from the distance.
"I think we better get going now..." Haruka suggests as Yuuichiro pulls up in the Ferrari to see if the battle is over.
"Uh, can Artemis and I come with you guys? She sounds a little mad..." Minako asks Haruka.
"You think? Sure, what the hell."
Minako tosses the Silver Crystal to Sailor Mars and the assembled gang piles into the time machine Ferrari. Yuuichiro moves into the backseat and Haruka takes the wheel. She pulls out the 30th century time key and slips in the 21st century time key. The Ferrari then speeds off into the distance and back into the past.
Neo Queen Serenity then storms up to the remaining inner senshi.
"I let you people go on with this stupid act, let Minako play dress-up as me, and turn my precious kingdom into a tacky amusement park and what do I get in return. My city being blown to bits!" Neo Queen Serenity shouts at the senshi utterly furious at their insubordination.
"You... you knew?" Jupiter asks the raging queen.
"Of course I knew! Do you really think that I would not know what was really going on in MY CITY?!? Well no more!"
Neo Queen Serenity snatches back the Silver Crystal from Mars and then pulls out several pairs of golden bracelets.
"No! Not those!" Mercury shouts in utter shock that the Queen would use Galaxia's bracelets.
"Lunar Soul Extraction!" Neo Queen Serenity calls out, while striking the three senshi with glowing beams of energy from the Silver Crystal.
Their Starseeds emerge from their bodies and fuse into Neo Queen Serenity's crown. She then tosses the bracelets into the air which then eerily float through the air and clamp on to the senshi's wrists.
"Now clean up this mess!" Neo Queen Serenity shouts at her newly formed Inner Animate Senshi.
"Yes mistress Neo Queen Serenity." Sailor Animate Mercury, Mars, and Jupiter monotonously intone.
"Now I wonder where that daughter of mine went to? Oh well, at least now she won't be clinging to my man." Neo Queen Serenity muses as she watches the Inner Animate Senshi begin to clean up and repair the city.
The Ferrari turned time machine comes to a stop just outside of the crater that once was known as the home of Tenou Haruka. The group files out of the car and lets out a collective sigh of relief that they got out their before Neo Queen Serenity showed up and could ream them out for inadvertently blowing up her city.
"It's too bad I didn't get to at least say hello to Chibi-usa-chan before we had to leave." Muses Hotaru.
"Heh. I got a chance to kick her ass around a little." Comments Jedite.
"What? Why?" Questions Hotaru.
"Just because." Jedite vaguely answers.
Just then the group hears a thumping sound from the trunk of the car. Haruka opens it up and out pops Chibi-usa.
"Oops. I guess we forgot to let her out of the trunk..." Haruka comments.
"Oh, Haruka-papa... What am I going to do with you?"
"Eh. Who knows. So what should we do with the spore? Should we send her back?" Haruka asks to the group in general.
"Ey'm stayin hear! Besidzez, moma prababli daszn't went 2 c ur azzes 4 a log tim." Chibi-usa states leaving no room for discussion.
"Whatever. No matter what we need to get this mess cleaned up. It's a sty."
"And coming from you that means a lot Haruka-papa." Hotaru states.
"HEY!!" Haruka protests.
A full-scale argument then breaks out. (Signaling a good time for the author and readers to leave before all Hell breaks loose. Or they get drafted to help clean up the mess.)
~Fin