Her
Secret
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Rei didn't remember when she first woke up in the box. Well, it wasn't really a box, per se, more like a rectangular crypt whose walls were piled floor-to ceiling with thousands of human remains. Calling it a "box" served to somehow mitigate the unreasoning dread horror that clawed at her soul every time she contemplated just how many bodies there must be around her.
She did not remember when she first woke up in the box. The last thing Rei remembered was sitting in a private reading room at the Bibliothèque nationale de France, the the National Library of France, reading up on stories surrounding a strange pyrotechnic woman named Lobelia Carlini-- who supposedly terrorized the city in the early 1920's before becoming something of an obscure national legend-- when she had suddenly felt a stabbing sensation in her back. This could have been an hour ago, a day ago, a week ago, for all Rei knew. Mentally she cursed herself for eating the food that had apparently been left by her side. Knowing her body as well as she did from years of meditation and practice, she realised she could have timed the duration of her captivity by her hunger pangs. Still, it wouldn't do to be weak, she reasoned. It was bad enough that she was chained to the wall by one leg, by a chain whose thick steel loops seemed more suited towards the restraint of some kind of Superman than a 31 year old girl. It was also bad enough that the chains appeared to be cursed somehow, in a manner that rendered her attempts both miko and senshi to shatter them completely useless. THOCK. The worst part of it, however, was the corpse in the middle of the floor. It had taken a while for her to make out the dim outlines of his body in the flickering firelight that served as the only illumination for her prison. After waking, it had been all she could do to avoid screaming at the seemingly animated skulls whose featres were given life by the dancing of the firelight. At once captivating and repelling, the sight had held her in its thrall for what seemed an eternity, overriding even the pungent smells of moldly rot and stale urine that permeated everything near her. Once she had seen it, though, she cold not stop staring at it. He couldn't have been dead long, lying as he was, face down in a puddle of what she hoped was water. He smelled more of cheap cologne than putrefaction or death, and the rats that ventured by did not seem interested in his body just yet. He was far enough away in the room to be an indistinct outline to Rei, who was unable to get closer due to her restraints. Not that she really wanted to, mind. How did it come to this? she wondered sadly. Months ago, when she'd confessed to Haruka her terror at finally graduating from Toyo Eiwa, the school where she had been educated from virtually her entire life from post-preschool through two bachelor's degrees, she had been so supremely grateful to the older woman for gifting her the funds to travel Europe, to experience life outside the sheltered confines of her family shrine, the girl's school, and Azabu-Juuban, Tokyo. But the freedom of the trip had quickly given way to a deep emptiness. Without Minako, Makoto, or Ami, the three friends who had become like sisters through their shared perils and joys as Sailor Senshi-- without her surrogate family-- the awe and wonder of storied Europe was little more than a dull backdrop, a bit of scenery through which she passed her days. She often found herself, when confronted with sights such as the Mona Lisa, Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower or even the stolid guards at Buckingham Palace, wanting to turn to the others and crack a joke, or make an observation, or just even coo in awed delight. But no one was there. Just strangers, too ensconced in their own reverie to appreciate the musings of some aloof Japanese woman. THOCK. Every now and then a person passing by would take interest in her, attempting to make conversation, to flirt or seduce. All these things felt empty to her, and she politely brushed them aside. She had not come to Europe seeking romance; she had come to find herself. And more to the point, she had felt nothing for the strangers, whom she knew, instinctually, felt nothing for her. It had been little more than two weeks into her trip that she had decided she wanted to go home. But Haruka-san had been so pleased and happy to give her this chance. And it had been a once in a lifetime opportunity. Rei couldn't help but snicker to herself. A decade ago if you'd told her she sould be touring Europe by the good graces of a wealthy lesbian benefactor, she would have slapped you in the face. She had been so uptight, so sure of her isolated perch above the world, separated by her shinto upbringing and the strange psychic powers that set her apart from her peers as an object at once awed and scorned, that she never would have believed you. How times had changed. Yet... how they had stayed the same. Her life was still empty, filled with void. While she had her friends, they were growing up, and moving on, picking up their lives post the debacle that had been "Crystal Tokyo", a future brought to fruition 1000 years too soon. One day, time permitting, they would grow older and the world would catch up to them, and that future would be birthed properly, assuming they would stay out of their past-selves way, but for now, they were back home, and trying desperately to reclaim their lives interrupted. Minako had married, an event which had shaken everyone to their core, even though no one had said anything at the time. They had come back from the future to find her not only the head of a household, but independent and running the revived Ginga TV. Most had considered her union at the time to be the work of hormones, a mistake, something she would regret for the rest of her life. But, surprisingly, her relationship had held, and it reminded the others of how far behind in their own personal lives they had fallen. When did it become a damned race, Rei muttered to herself, under her breath, the sound of her voice the first thing to shatter the oppressive silence that previously had only been punctuated by the brisk crackle of torches. She started momentarily as the unfamiliar sound of her voice shocked her. THOCK. She had not spoken much in the last weeks, except for some halting attempts at French which were met with derision by the locals. She had found it easier to get by with English, which her business education had groomed her in fairly well. There had simply been no one to talk to. And the time zone difference made it impractical to call home or even IRC / text message. _God, why am I thinking about this of all things,_ Rei continued mentally, looking at the corpse a bit more fixatedly. I should be thinking about how the hell to get out of here, not how fucking lonely I am. But as Rei continued to look at the corpse-- really, deeply look, for the first time-- details became apparent, and what had been known previously only to her subconcious suddenly intruded upon her concious mind. And the thought made her vomit in reflexive horror. These feelings of lonliness, of opportunities missed, of isolation-- --they had been welling up because the corpse she had been looking at was that of Yuuichiro Kumada. Before Rei could even find the energy to rage, there were tears. Welled up from who knows where, they simply burst forth before she could even begin to try to stop them. All her discipline, all her self-control shattered in an instant, just realizing it was his body lying there on the ground. "YUUICHIRO!!" THOCK. She cried out, her abrupt scream piercing the silence, echoing and rebounding a hundred time from the recesses of the crypt, the wet thud of her fists hitting the ground, followed by the heaving sounds of her sobbing. Those sounds seemed alien to her, as if they were coming from someone else. All she could see were the sights in her mind's eye. Of the first time when the man had come to the shrine, an interloper in her eyes. Of the time he had started that ridiculous fitness club with her grandfather. When he had fought Haruka-san in the rain because of a misunderstanding, trying to stand up for her. Of the time he had nearly left the shrine, and she'd had to stop him. The man had always been there, like some kind of sad puppy-- 'the shaggy dog' she had called him once-- pining over her, in the distance, from far away. She never had known what to make of him. At first she'd thought he was some kind of drifter-pervert, but over time he'd shown himself to be loyal and brave to her in a way that, frankly scared her on some level. She had not been used to recieving affection from others. Rei's mother had died when she was young, and her father used her more as a trophy-child to garner political sympathy than anything else. Her grandfather was all right, but his lechery always caused her to eye him with suspicion. And Yuuichiro had been a stranger, someone who just basically came out of nowhere and was smitten by her. Put up with her insults, her yelling, her demands. Took it all, cheerfully, never answering back. Always taking what she dished out, never fighting, just accepting. In a way, Rei wondered, had she taken him for granted? That he would always be a fixture at the shrine? She didn't know. All she knew was that he had always been there for her, whether she'd asked for it or not. He'd been jealous of Mamoru-san. She smiled despite herself at the memory. That idiot. (Not that Mamoru-san hadn't been attractive to her, but still). And now, after all that, here he was, lying dead, face down in Europe. In front of her. "You stupid idiot!" she screamed. "What the HELL are you doing here?!" There was no reply but the echoes of her own voice off the skull-laden walls. So much unsaid. So much undone. No chance for it now. THOCK. "YOU MORON!" she yelled again, her pent up rage not really directed at him, but herself. Oh, so much rage. So much anger and frustration. She'd done almost nothing to the man but heap scorn on him as a kind of outward defense, because she'd been afraid. Afraid of letting him too close. Afraid of being used or dumped like Makoto and Minako had been. Afraid of the feelings he stirred within her that defied her own sense of discipline. Love was a loss of control in a way. Love softened edges that she preferred hard. Love attached her to a world she struggled to remain detached from. Love took time away from her shrine. Love made demands. Love would put her in a position to have to share her life beyond her circle of friends, her comfortable routine. It would have put her out of total control. She would have had to accomodate him, to make space for him, to reciprocate his feelings. Love had simply been too much of him to ask at the time, with her busy life as a Sailor Senshi and a student. He had wanted, in retrospect, so very little. Just a smile, and a bit of her time. A chance to share in her life, and to let her share his. And she had denied him that, to the very end. And now, here he was, dead, in Europe, not fifty feet away from her grasp. And were those... were those flowers in his hand!? Casablancas? Oh kami-sama, they were. "DAMMIT!" Rei yelled, leaping to her feet trying to bound over to Yuuichiro, only to come smashing down hard onto the stone pavement, the chain that was binding her snapping taut. "Dammit," she sobbed, choosing to lie there on the ground, awash in her growing misery. "Well, aren't you going to save him?" The voice was distorted, garbled, originating from nowhere Rei could identify. It was everywhere, and nowhere all at once. Save him? Rei seized on those words frantically, like a drowning woman grasping at straws. You mean he's not... THOCK. "Kumada Yuuichiro is still alive, for the moment", the voice continued. "Just sleeping, as you were." "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!" Rei yelled out, anger growing. She felt stronger, the rage in her heart fueling her to her knees, to her feet. "Now now, let's not get distracted by little old me," the voice chided. "Your boyfriend there is about to die from a broken heart." THOCK. "He's not my boyfriend!" Rei boomed back imperiously, feeling more sure of herself now that she knew(?) Yuuichiro was still alive. THOCKTHOCKTHOCK. At that moment, Rei finally became conciously aware of the sound that had been occassionally-- but quietly-- breaking the silence at random intervals. It sounded like a gear slipping. Only now it was slipping faster. "Bad answer," the voice replied. "Look up." Rei looked up as she was instructed, and saw a large, rusted spike hanging from the ceiling, suspended by chains. it was swaying ever so slightly, as if it had just moved. "For every bad answer you give, one of the support chains breaks, and the spike lowers faster." Rei followed an imaginary line from the bottom of the spike down to the upper-middle of Yuuichiro's back and gasped, the meaning becoming apparent. "But he ISN'T my boyfriend," Rei protested. THOCK THOCK. "We aren't a couple!" THOCK THOCK THOCK. The spike lowered even faster, now just five or six feet above Yuuichiro's spine. It would punch through to his heart. "I'm NOT LYING!" Rei yelled desperately. THOCK. "I know," the voice said. "I didn't say your answer was untruthful, did I? I said it was bad." Rei felt her blood chill as the import of that statement hit home. The voice continued, seeming to enjoy this. "You aren't true to yourself, Hino Rei. What were you thinking of when you saw his body lying there before you, still, unmoving?" Rei growled and stayed silent, not wanting to give her tormentor satisfaction. "Bad Answer." THOCKTHOCKTHOCK. The spike was now half a foot from severing Yuuichiro. Rei cursed mentally and tried to transform. Something about the chain stopped her. "Is your pride worth so much that you'd condemn a man to death rather than admit your feelings?" "No," Rei said slowly. "But I don't see it's any of your business!" "You dont' need to understand," the voice said almost cheerfully. "You just need to be honest with yourself." "I know how I feel," Rei replied coldly. The spike lowered very slightly. "A... mostly truthful answer," the voice reasoned. "You know what you should feel, but up until you woke up and saw his prone form, you never really felt it in a way that truly moved your heart, did you?" "I suppose not," Rei replied. The spike quivered, as if eager to descend, but did not move. "Honestly, that was a bad answer. But you're so close to the end of the line I won't have any fun if it drops now." "How is that a bad answer!?" Rei retorted. "I can't FORCE myself to feel for someone!" "YUUICHIRO!!" She cried out, her abrupt scream piercing the silence. Rei winced as she heard herself. "Was that you?" "Yes." "I asked, WAS THAT YOU." "YES GOD DAMMIT." "So you didn't force yourself to feel anything, did you? The feelings were already there, just waiting to be released." Rei felt herself tearing up, a bit in shame and a bit in impotent rage that she couldn't shut the damn voice up. "Why is that?" the voice pressed. "Because I don't let my feelings out," Rei hissed. "..." "Perhaps I should have been more specific," the voice said after a moment. "Why where the feelings there?" "What do you mean why were they there?" Rei asked, not comprehending. "Why did you cry out for him?" "Because I thought he was dead!" THOCKTHOCK. The point of the spear hung mere inches from Yuuichiro's back. "Why did you cry out for him?" As Rei stood there, mortified, the voice intoned coolly and with a hint of smugness "Lassst channce~". "BECAUSE I LOVE HIM ALL RIGHT!" Rei yelled it loudly. THOCK! Rei's eyes widened as she heard the sound again, and just began to jibber, the tension of the moment snapping her. "I LOVE HIM I SAID IT I SAID IT WHY DID YOU LET IT DROP?!" "Ahh, but I haven't," the voice chided. And true enough, the pendulum remained fixed where it was, hovering right over Yuuichiro's spine. "But then what was that..." Rei asked numbly, blood rushing from her brain as the stress won out and she felt faint. "This time it was your chain that broke." Rei looked back, and saw that indeed, her shackle had been released. Stumbling forward, she ran to Yuuichiro and pulled him from under the spike, rolling him over to look at his face. To her horror she saw that he was wide awake, tears in his eyes, with a piece of duct tape and cotton gagging and muffling his mouth. She froze, mortified that he had heard everything... every thing she'd confessed. About her feelings. Things she'd never wanted him to hear--! Yuuichiro winced but to his credit, did not yelp as she knelt over him, ripped the duct tape off his face and pulled out the cotton balls. "IDIOT what are you doing here!?" she screamed, pounding on his chest in frustration. "Why the hell are you in Europe! You should be in Japan tending the shrine!" She cried and yelled and ranted and raved on and on, only quieting when Yuuichiro raised his hand to show her a small velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket. Within the box was a silver, unassuming ring, whose meaning could not be any more clear. Rei looked at the ring, and looked back at Yuuichiro, shocked to silence. Their first true kiss tasted of cottonballs and bad mouthwash, and was witnessed by naught by the hollowed out eyes of the skulls deep in the Catacombes de Paris... ...and Jedite and Professor Tomoe, who were safely above ground in a white Death Busters van. "This Optimus Prime voice changer is a splendid piece of equipment," Jedite said with approval, doing the "Catacomb Voice" thing one more time. Professor Tomoe nodded, shiny-glassed gaze rooted to the security camera, where the kiss between Rei and Yuuichiro was slowly becoming more. "SHOULD WE SEND IN THE RESCUE TEAM NOW?" Tomoe asked with a cackling grin. "Wait till he hits second base," Jedite said with a snicker. "they'll never live that down". Tomoe nodded and complied, watching with laughter as the scandalized couple did their best to recover their composure. "Was that a yes?" Yuuichiro asked even as he and Rei were shuffled out of the catacombs by amused French police. Rei shot him back an angry look, but the warmth in her eyes told him all he needed to know. END BREAKOUT PART ONE |