"My intention is to reveal the *true* selves of my favorite Sailormoon characters, Hino Rei and Tomoe Hotaru.

<FireFly_9> And by "Favorite", we mean the ones we'd most like to mischaracterize and thoroughly defame.

(Rei:) ["Oh no! Hotaru! You too? You've been bitten by the truth bug, too! Oh my c[BLEEP]t!, not that pain in my soul again, and not in *this* way, please! Why the f[BLEEP]k I might not be blessed with the kindness of ignorance, the bliss of unconsciousness? It looks like this is the day I'll be finally captured by my f[BLEEP]y destiny... SHIT!"]

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> "Oh my c[BLEEP]t?!" Is that even a proper epithet?
<// J_Daito //> Yeah, dammit almighty, I want to be blessed with being ignorantly comatose too! Can't you just make me like Chibiusa and get it over with?
<.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> fak u U unconscience brastard
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> "Oh... the horror that my f[BLEEP]y destiny might capture me...
<// J_Daito //> Double-plus damnation! Your destiny isn't just sucky, it's f[BLEEP]y!!
<FireFly_9> "Revolutionary Girl Sailorsaturn: The fanfic so raw, it INNOVATES the field of profanity!"

(Hotaru:)According to my not so humble opinion, do you know what to have to live like a "super-hero" means? It means..., no!, it doesn't mean a thing, indeed it smells like ABSOLUTE INSANITY!

<// J_Daito //> "Smells like Absolute Insanity"-- isn't that atrack by Nelvana or something?
<FireFly_9> Because living is to smelling as smelling is to life.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> That made more sense than the line from the fic, I'm sad to say.

Who are we Sailorsenshi? Slaves to Sailormoon? Do we *have* to be slaves to that hollow-headed slut?

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yeah-- that two dollar crank hoe wit da Odango
<// J_Daito //> Yes, we call her a 'slut' because she's chased after Mamoru, Mamoru and oh, let me see here, Mamoru
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Hey now, she did cheat on him with Tuxedo Mask and Prince Endymion
<FireFly_9> Is a dalliance with your lover's split personas actually an infidelity?
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> These burning philosophical questions, and MORE, brought to you by MSST 666000!
<// J_Daito //> "Because we ALWAYS burn our questions perfectly!"

First of all I must be loyal to my true self, and my true self has been telling me this: "F[BLEEP]K SAILORMOON!" And why the hell she *still* is our leader? She even is not the strongest one among us all

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Now granted, i can sympathize.
<// J_Daito //> Ha ha, LOSER, having to take orders from a mentally challenged odango-head
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Ha ha, LOSER, having your ass beat down by said odango head
<// J_Daito //> STFU Biatch

Why, how, can you be so blind? Why... Damn it! Does it matter... now? Maybe very soon you will destroy me, otherwise I will destroy you...

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Well this fanfic is certainly destroying *us*

How many times had she wished to live in a place where the sounds of television, radio, telephones and shi[BLEEP]y people could not ever come to her ears? How many times had she realized that the so-called love she used to feel for her ojii-san had always been nothing but an illusion? How many times had she wished to kill her father and to do without any stupid need for guilt or self-punishment?

<// J_Daito //> Whoa, Rei the wanna-be senshi of patricide-- I always knew there was something I liked about that one.
<FireFly_9> Hopefully they will not delve into the "love...for her ojii-san".
<// J_Daito //> But you forget, this is the fanfic that DARES to use c[BLEEP]t as a commonplace swearword! NOTHING I5 TEH L1MiT!

(Hotaru) Because... because if I had the help from you, the Senshi of Fire, I could actually defeat not only Sailormoon but *all* her other allies too — especially my f[BLEEP]y Setsuna-mama and her obscene time tricks!...

<// J_Daito //> I don't even wanna *KNOW* what obscene tricks that woman plays with Time.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Time's always running out for a reason-- it's trying to flee Setsuna, the Temporal Supahfreak.

Under the phantasmagoric light of the aurora australis Saturn showed Mars how to increase enormously the Senshi powers by extracting energy directly from the center of the Earth

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> HP Lovecraft we are NOT
<FireFly_9> Yes, because of course I carry around a storehouse of power-leveling tricks for causal dispensation.
<// J_Daito //> Actually, Hotaru, you do.
<FireFly_9> Well why don't I hook your posterior to the superluminferous photonic belt of the bug light outside and see if you don't "power up"?!
<// J_Daito //> I sense bitterness.

I see that the first black flames are "unforgettable", Mars, but... can you *already* match my Purple Plasma Stream? Would you like to "test your might" right now?

My c[BLEEP]t! *Cold*... *black*... flames! I would never imagine that flames, *my* flames, could actually be cold... or black... Wow!

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Weirdest. Deflowering Scene. Ever.
<// J_Daito //> Nah, I saw it in a manga. "Seera Suupa Powaa H" or something

The two streams of materialized altered bioplasma reached a deadlock.

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> So the fic's over, right?
<GERMATOID> MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
<GERMATOID> AND THAT'S NOT MY HAPPY LAUGH!!
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh, son of a [BLEEP]

The explosion caused by the minimum intensity of the Scalar ShockWave would have overkilled Sailormars if she was not protected by her Steam Shell.
*Wake up now you lazy bitch*! STAND UP! — Sailorsaturn commanded while kicking her ally in the ass.

<// J_Daito //> Whoa, Drill Sergeant Hotaru
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yes because overkillings are always to be deflecting by the uses of the Steam Shell
<// J_Daito //> I mean... what the hell is an overkilling, anyway? Making one deader than dead?
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I'm the deadest, baby... yeah.

F[BLEEP]ingly beautiful!!! — Saturn exclaimed.

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> That should be our new blog motto... Suburban Senshi: fu[BLEEP]kingly beautiful!
<// J_Daito //> VKLL, eat your saucy heart out.

However, people like *you*, Mars, are able to *undo* that obscene shitwork — once and for all, hopefully.

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I'd like to undo this obscene shitwork, indeed.
<FireFly_9> Hello, censor?
<// J_Daito //> I think this fic has killed the bleeper
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh, my c[BLEEP]t!
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Nah, it's still working.

The remaining copies of the annotations written by my Souichi-papa taught me quite otherwise. The Ice Palace we are living in is materialized and kept hidden by the scalar energy gadgets he designed,

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Scalar waht now?
<GERMATOID> BIG FRIDGE
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Ah.

From there the correcting distortion induced by your absolute zero Senshi power will propagate instantaneously across the entire Universe.

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Why can't Xadium give us this cool technobabble s[BLEEP] for the Suburban Senshi fics!?
<FireFly_9> Because then you'd have to kill your mother, couple with your fellow senshi and scream out new obscenities based on unsavory latin names for your genitalia.
<// J_Daito //> Doesn't she do most of that already?
<FireFly_9> ^_^;;

["My c[BLEEP]t! This madness is hurting me! OOOUUUCH!"]

<// J_Daito //> Yup, that about sums up this fic.

Then Saturn touched the thymic chakra of Mars with the tip of her right middle finger and started to replenish the etheric body of Mars with magnetality.

<// J_Daito //> Hey, 'Taru-baby, why don't you slink on over here an' replenish my etheric body with magnetality, eh, babe?
<FireFly_9> If there's one thing worse than technobabble, it's *new age* technobabble.

Totally unable to control time, am I still Sailorpluto? No! F[BLEEP]k! Shame on me! *Double* shame on me! Setsuna, now you'd better die; so do it, and with honor!"

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Setsuna learns what it means to be a true Klingon.

EXCERPT FROM EXTREME SAILORMARS' DIARY

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Ahh yes... I knew it was only a matter of time before the "extreme" craze hit the Sailorfic circuit
<// J_Daito //> YO YO YO MUTHAFU[BLEEP]AZ! I B EXTREME JEDITE, YO! AN' I BE EXTREMELY EVILLY WHOOPIN ON YO' ASS!
* --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- w00ts
<FireFly_9> Well I find this fanfic *extremely* annoying.

However in my world there won't be politics at all. Extreme Sailorsaturn will rule this planet, but without hypocrisy.

<FireFly_9> I... rather like the sound of that.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> She's gonna darkside on our ass!
<GERMATOID> I'VE GOT THE DIMENSIONAL PORTAL READY, SWEETIE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
<FireFly_9> Just joking.
<GERMATOID> AWW MAN!
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Aww, man!
<FireFly_9> What are YOU complaining about, Haruka-poppa?
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Umm... I just wanted to like... well... het some target practice, you know?

Chiba Mamoru turned his head to the left, and saw a freaky suicide-blonde, a girl with yellow eyes and yellow finger-nails, wearing white sneakers, black leggings and a long red T-shirt.

<// J_Daito //> Haruka!
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dammit, who says that's me?!
<// J_Daito //> It just feels like you
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> am I a suicide blonde? I ma the hunter, not the hunted!

My "dear" Chibi-usa... you'll never know how much you bored me to the bones... and now you're gonna pay for that! Now that you cannot henshin into Sailorshit... I will enjoy the pleasure to torture your body to death with my very hands. By the way, the gag and the ropes you're wearing, how well they fit you? Are you hungry? Thirsty? How about a cup of blood of talking cats? It tastes so sweet, believe me!

<// J_Daito //> Chibiusa as 'Sailorshit'... well at least the fic got something right
<.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> u litl bstrd whn i gt my hans on U i wil cush u like a grap!!! Wen I fnd my nukleer bmb i will radeate ur as!!
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> LUUUNA!!! ARRRETEMIS!!!! DIIIANAAAA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

|Makoto| Damn it Minako! Did you know that you're really looking like crap tonight? You are free to feel down and out okay, but please don't try to make myself and the others feel just like you're doing

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yes because the senshi always support one another in times of crisis
<// J_Daito //> Hey, the Dark Kingdom was like this all the time
<// J_Daito //> If we saw someone wearing his heart on his sleeve we ripped it off and ate it
<// J_Daito //> After boiling it of course
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ...of course

|Venus| Mercury!, you daughter of an encyclopaedia, do you think this is a circus?...Those words from Venus could do make Mercury take an inner break for thinking very seriously.

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> (Ami) V-chan-- you cut me-- to the quick...

Minako obeyed. She was so angry that she too started to cry.

<// J_Daito //> I always cry when enraged
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I'm sobbing now.
<// J_Daito //> Nah, you're just an SOB
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> True, True.

Twenty-four days ago, the human History was ended by Extreme Sailorsaturn.

<// J_Daito //> So the fic is over right
<FireFly_9> No, the audience has to die next
<// J_Daito //> ...METALLIA HELP US!!!

At first I went quite shocked for discovering that only as a cyborg I could have a virtually infinite and invincible power.

<GERMATOID> SO AMI-CHAN FINALLY MEETS DR. GERO... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> This fic... reading on...
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Rei is about to have her own daughter / sister
<FireFly_9> Electra would be so proud.

As I promised: today, I gave 214,957 flying triangles to her, my Empress

<GERMATOID> ALL MY STAFF WOULD GIVE ME WERE GUMMI SNACKS!

You should have embalmed Minako, so you could be practicing your necrophilia.

<// J_Daito //> We all make mistakes.
<GERMATOID> I THINK THE SERVER IS GOING TO CRASH
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Why?!
<GERMATOID> THE FIC IS JUST TOO DAMN BAD
*** Disconnected